Making Sense Of A Man’s Lack Of Orgasm

Congratulations! You Have Found The Ultimate Information Resource….

….for Delayed Ejaculation.

You probably arrived at this site because you searched for information and explanations of delayed ejaculation, also known as retarded ejaculation, or DE for short.

The first thing I want to tell you is that you can discover how to easily ejaculate normally, at home, in privacy, with the help of the information and techniques in my self-help program (see the SELF HELP TREATMENT link on the menu above), and some involvement from your sexual partner.

And yes, it requires a bit of dedication, but I’m guessing that you have plenty of those qualities, because you’re already searching for a solution, and you’ve probably had to put up with this problem for quite some time.

couple with delayed ejaculation
Delayed ejaculation can certainly impact your relationship – but not in a good way!

A Problem Hidden For Years

It’s only recently that delayed ejaculation has become well known: maybe that’s because it’s so difficult to talk about the problem, or even admit to having it.

Here’s a graph of a typical male population’s intravaginal ejaculatory latency time, or IELT, otherwise known as time from penetration to ejaculation.

As you see, the average length of lovemaking is around 5 minutes. If you’re going on for more than 15 minutes…. well, maybe you have delayed ejaculation.

Intravaginal ejaculatory latency time.
Graph showing time to ejaculation after penetration vs percentage of the male population.

I don’t think anyone – at least no man with DE – believes extremely long lasting sex is good in any way. After all, not being able to reach orgasm during intercourse, or only with the greatest difficulty, is something that hits every man’s sexual self-esteem. And it doesn’t do much for most women, either.

One thing’s for sure: if you have delayed ejaculation, you’ll certainly be looking for a cure that works, a solution that can help you to enjoy normal sex easily.

So you might be pleased to know that I’m an experienced sex therapist, and I’ve spent twelve years helping men to overcome sexual dysfunction.

My online self-help program is based on all my accumulated experience and knowledge and has a success rate of around 96% – so it’s almost certain to help you overcome the difficulty you may have in ejaculating.

Many men despair of ever finding a solution and go on struggling to ejaculate during intercourse with a partner who may be frustrated, getting sore, and possibly even bored with the length of time for which sex continues.

In fact, delays in ejaculating can be a real challenge to a man’s sexual self-esteem. Especially if he can’t come at all. The simple truth is that delayed ejaculation causes considerable stress, low sexual self-esteem, anxiety and frustration. And it doesn’t help your relationship, that’s for sure.

But What Causes Such Delays ?

You may be wondering why you can’t reach the point of orgasm and ejaculate during sex.

Most men ejaculate within two or three minutes of penetrating their partner – yes, that’s the average time for a man during sex – and these guys would find the very idea of retarded ejaculation quite extraordinary.

They might even think it’s rather an attractive idea – to be able to make love for a long, long time. However…. that is almost never true.

Happy sex comes when you don't have to worry about ejaculation delays.
Happy sex comes when you don’t have to worry about ejaculation delays.

As a sex therapist who’s worked with hundreds of men over the years, both in groups and individually, I know that delayed ejaculation and what you do about it, should be taken very seriously because it causes men so much frustration and distress.

One of the most important aspects of treating this problem is being able to identify the reasons why it happens.

So I’m going to help you separate physical problems from emotional issues, deal with any relationship issues, and show you new techniques to help you enjoy sex and dramatically speed up your approach to orgasm.

More good news: you can tackle all aspects of delayed ejaculation more or less at the same time, and you can expect to enjoy a massive improvement in how quickly you reach orgasm after only a few weeks of using a treatment program.

I was the first person to put a self-help treatment for retarded ejaculation on the Internet. Click here to check it out right now.

And, judging by the response and feedback I get to the material on my site, I can justifiably claim a 96% cure rate for men who use my self-help treatment methods.

Time for a little diversion. Here’s a video I made on the subject of delayed ejaculation a while back.

The Best Approach to Deal With Delays In Ejaculation….

Would you like to enjoy making love and reach orgasm in only a few minutes?

Sexual intercourse in which both the man and his partner enjoy an orgasm is one of the greatest experiences in an intimate relationship.

Therefore, if you have retarded ejaculation (also known as delayed ejaculation or DE for short), it’s only natural that you’re searching for a solution.

And that’s where I come in. After twelve years working with men who have sexual challenges, including erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation and retarded ejaculation, I’m now doing the same thing online, only on a bigger scale.

Happy couple who have cured delayed ejaculation
Happy couple making love who have cured delayed ejaculation

That way, I can reach more men and their partners, answering men’s questions, and providing solutions that really do give men the ability to easily enjoy orgasms during intercourse no matter how long it may take them to ejaculate right now.

Of course DE is not a problem that happens for a single reason. You might have trouble ejaculating during lovemaking because of the way you learned to masturbate as a teenager.

Or you might have been brought up by people who regarded sex as bad or shameful in some way, and who repressed the natural, powerful male sexuality that is your birthright.

Whatever the cause of your ejaculation difficulties, my message is the same – delayed ejaculation can be cured.

First, there’s a system of easy and powerful techniques which can reduce your anxiety and increase your sexual self-confidence.

Using these and other simple “reprogramming” techniques, your whole view of sex will change: you’ll have a completely different perception of yourself and your sexual feelings. You’ll be liberated, uninhibited, eager for pleasure… that kind of thing!

Second, I discuss and explain all the techniques which you can use to increase your sexual arousal.

These techniques will get you to the point of ejaculation much more quickly and easily during lovemaking.

Low arousal is a problem for men with delayed ejaculation for many reasons. I explain all of them, and I show you what you can do about them, especially around issues connected with your relationship.

In fact, you’ll end up with a much better relationship as well as the ability to enjoy sex to the full.

And third, I show you several highly effective sexual techniques which allow you to control, to actually choose, how fast or slowly you reach your orgasm and ejaculate.

Quite a change from struggling for an hour or more and then giving up exhausted, perhaps with a frustrated partner!

By combining different elements of therapy, behavioral change techniques, information and counseling into one powerful system, you can quickly come (pun intended!) to enjoy superb sex with complete control over your ejaculation in only a few short weeks.

And the time you need to devote to the system is only between one and two hours a week.

Plus you have unlimited access to me via email after you join the program. It’s a complete package – all designed to help you and your partner have a truly fulfilling relationship. Check it out by clicking on the link at the top of the right hand column of this page.

More Information About Delayed Ejaculation

There are some outlandish theories about the origin of this condition on the Internet – sadly, they are mostly wrong.

For example, you’ll find many references to penile insensitivity as a cause of DE. But unless you’ve had many operations on your penis (for example in the case of hypospadias), there is almost no possibility that insensitivity of the nervous system or sensory receptors of the penile tissue are deficient.

And there’s little, if any, probability of your ejaculatory reflex having an abnormally high threshold of activation.

Only in extreme cases of neuropathy, perhaps in diseases such as muscular sclerosis, Parkinson’s disease, and advanced diabetes, would the neural reflex responsible for ejaculation be deficient.

No: the truth is, that we have to look elsewhere to explain delayed ejaculation.

Some of the explanations for this condition are fairly straightforward: if you are taking medication for anything like depression or anxiety, then those drugs may have an impact on your ejaculatory reflex, or more accurately on the level of serotonin in your brain, making it difficult or impossible for you to ejaculate during sexual intercourse.

That situation can be remedied by a visit to your doctor, and a discussion with him about different medication choices which may not have the same effect.

In almost every case, I have found that a man who is unable to ejaculate because of the drugs he’s taking can find an alternative which does not have the same impact on his sexual capacity.

Second, another common cause of this problem is that a man has learned to masturbate using a harsh and fast technique – known as an “idiosyncratic form of stimulation”.

By using extremely hard pressure or very high frequency of hand movements, or using a prone position against the mattress, hands-free, an adolescent may condition his body to respond to sexual stimulation only of the most extreme kind.

When this happens during adolescence, a man grows up so that the normal stimulation available during sexual intercourse is simply insufficient to trigger his ejaculatory reflex.

This is not a failure of the ejaculatory reflex: it is actually an elevation of the sensory threshold that is necessary to stimulate a man’s trigger point, in other words take him over the point of ejaculatory inevitability.

In my home self-help program I offer a complete explanation of how men can get over this difficulty in reaching climax by using a form of bodywork which resensitizes the body – and penis – to a much more normal level of stimulation.

Here’s another video – Dr Janet Hall on difficulty in ejaculating. She’s got some good points but I think she’s taking a bit of a simplistic approach to DE.

And You’ll Have A Better Relationship, Too!

To finally get past this problem, you must address any difficulty in your relationship that makes you and your partner feel alienated or distant from each other.

The emotional connection you have with your partner matters – a fact reflected in the expression “retarded ejaculation”. This has now passed mostly out of use, but it does suggest a quality which indicates something about the emotional connection between a man and his partner.

Happy sex comes when you don't have to worry about ejaculation delays.
Happy sex comes when you don’t have to worry about ejaculation delays.

Rather than stepping forward into a full and open relationship with honest communication, I’ve often found that couples where the man and woman have this kind of sexual problem have a kind of emotional restraint, a “holding back”, a reticence to engage with each other fully.

This can be caused by underlying anger and resentment, or indeed sexual shame or guilt, all of which inhibit ejaculation because they lower your motivation and enthusiasm for sex, and prevent you from becoming sufficiently aroused to reach the point of no return easily (that’s the level of arousal where you know you will ejaculate, come what may). I guess this may not be a familiar place – at least during partnered sex – to many men reading this.

And if you hold some kind of resentment towards your sexual partner because of her attitude to sex – perhaps she is passive or disinterested – sex is never easy. Often a man looks like he is (and thinks he is) aroused, and has a hard erection, but in reality his level of sexual arousal is very low. Too low to ejaculate or “come” (also known as reaching climax), that’s for sure. Even if sex goes on for hours.

delayed ejaculation questions and answers
Get your questions about delayed ejaculation answered on this website.

The same may be true if a man relies on fantasy to become aroused. Porn is so stimulating it just gives us a thrill far bigger than a lot of real life sex…. often you just can’t match the intensity and excitement of porn in the reality of sex with a real partner.

But it’s not necessary to delve too deeply into your relationship issues before getting to grips with retarded ejaculation treatment, perhaps a fact for which you are very grateful!

And why? Well, because a large part of the treatment involves things which will produce much greater intimacy and connection between you and your partner. So improving your relationship is a natural effect of treating delayed ejaculation.

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